Let me preface this by saying that the title of this blog post is a bit misleading. I don't really know how to survive the winter blues. I just know what's working for me some of the time. It might not work tomorrow. Today, though, it's working. So, that being said, here's how to survive the winter blues. For today.
The winter blues are tricky. They usually sneak up on me - right around February. December is full of visions of cozy family seasons around the Christmas tree or the fireplace - I don't have a fireplace but my cozy visions always have a fireplace in them. Guess what's on my wishlist for the new house? ;)
In December, the snow is welcome. Loved, even. In January, snow is still good. It coats the earth with that clean, fresh feeling and coordinates very well with that New Year and fresh start feeling.
And then it gets colder, the snow gets dirtier, the skies stay gray for days and days on end, and the blues get you. It's usually February (or even the end of January) and the fresh start feeling wears off and you're left with nothing but weeks and weeks of cold, gray days ahead and you're stuck in the house with kids.
That is when the winter blues sneak in. The walls of the house start to close in, everything feels messier, there are so many snow boots and watery, muddy messes to clean up multiple times/day, the kids suddenly seem so much louder and crazier, the dog is going out of his mind because he's not getting walked enough and so he's chewing up furniture, and you start dreaming about the tropics and putting your kids up for adoption.
At least this is what the winter blues feel like to me. I start getting a bit panicky at the thought of dealing with it all for two more months and I want to tear my hair out. Or run away to the above-mentioned tropics by myself and let the husband deal with all of it.
Since I'm more sensible than the little devil-me that sits on my shoulder - at least most of the time - I've devised something else to help me cope with the winter blues.
It's called quiet time at our house. It used to be called nap time. But when the kids are 6, 9 and 12, it's called quiet time.
Quiet time doesn't have a specific time of the day. Rather, it is timed solely on the Mommy's needs and moods. :)
Calling quiet time simply means that the children have to go away from the Mommy and do something quietly. If they can't play quietly or nicely together, they must have quiet time by themselves.
The duration of quiet time is also dependent on the Mommy's mood. On a normal day, quiet time lasts for 60 minutes. Although it has been known to last as long as 90 minutes (when the winter blues and PMS hit at the same time), quiet time can also last for only 30 minutes. But 60 minutes seems to be the magic amount of time needed to cope and recover.
Quiet time for the kids can take place in the basement if you have one. Or it can be in kids' bedrooms. If you have multiple kids who share a room, you may want to put one of them in your bedroom with some toys and books so that they don't fight. Disrupting quiet time IS NOT GOOD.
And, don't judge me, but when the kids were smaller, quiet time can also take place in front of the TV. Put on PBS so you don't feel quite so guilty, give them snacks, and then walk away.
The key to quiet time working is that no one interrupts the Mommy - it does take some training for younger kids or bribing with older kids.
What the Mommy does during quiet time depends on the Mommy. I highly recommend a beverage - no judgment from me if you have a glass of wine at 4 pm - coffee or tea or hot chocolate work well to help calm the nerves. Take your beverage to a comfy spot - a cozy plaid chair, the couch, or even the kitchen table - and take about 10 deep breaths. For the first 10 minutes of quiet time, do NOTHING. This is harder than it sounds but it really works. Your brain needs to shut down and recoup. Drink your beverage, breathe deeply and do nothing. And somehow during that 10 minutes, your brain will tell you what else you need to do in the remaining 50 minutes to feel better.
What's important is that you don't let that time turn into guilt time. You must not feel guilty for needing a break from your children. You are teaching them to respect you and your needs and to entertain themselves at the same time. It is good for them. Really.
Usually, I end up writing or cleaning in the remaining 50 minutes. Writing in a journal is a great idea. Making lists is another good idea because it helps you to organize your thoughts and feel more on top of the things that are making you feel out-of-control - this is one of my favorite things to do. Calling a friend and venting is another great idea.
But my favorite is cleaning. It's a new method of calming myself and I would never, ever have believed that it worked. Until I tried it. It really does sound crazy. Why would you want to clean when you have some time to yourself?
That will be Part 2 tomorrow.
For now, try quiet time today. It works. At least for today. :)
